Carlyle Christoff

About the Author

Carlyle Christoff is a sharp-witted observer of the everyday absurdities that lurk in the corners of domestic life, with a penchant for anthropomorphizing the inanimate in ways that are equal parts hilarious and unnerving. Drawing from years of tending to her own unruly collection of houseplants—those silent judges of human folly—she crafts narratives that peel back the veneer of suburban normalcy to reveal the chaotic inner monologues of flora and fauna alike. In her debut work, Houseplants and Their F*cked-Up Thoughts: P.S., They Hate You, Christoff delivers a riotous exploration of botanical resentment, blending dark humor with poignant insights into neglect, growth, and the unspoken tensions of cohabitation. A former botanist turned satirist, she now resides in a verdant chaos of her own making, where every leaf seems to whisper secrets.